Partyfour

"And you can stop goosing me with your eyes!" Weft added, addressing a patch of empty air and punctuating the admonishment with his katana.

"No clue as to who you'd be referring to. Or running through. Just preferably not me," called the 'wolf to Weft's back (well, really his side).

The hirsute one selected an actual ale this time, dark amber and brimming with promise. Or so he hoped.

One Ladylike eyebrow raised at Julia's explanation. The mercenary had been involved in shady dealing long enough to know that some questions were better left unasked.

Pasht abandoned Suitov for the moment. She slunk outside Weft's sword range (blowing him a kiss along the way) and crept up behind Mai. The vampiress poised to pounce.

Abandoned, the bonbon settled for folding his arms and looking smoulderingly sexy.

There was a blur of movement nobody could quite make out, and Weft shrieked "Who did that?!"

Someone had quite clearly tweaked his... well, he didn't want to say. And yet... his sword-waving had cleared a good four or five foot radius around him. Nobody had been near enough.

"Jesus! " said Mhelarn, who wasn't and inhaled when he shouldn't. He hacked hops out of his lungs.

"What bit you?" he asked the arc of steel.

"I don't know! Empty air!" said Weft, giving the impression that that was all that was between his ears. He was quietly close to hyperventilating.

"You know, I think he's more in need of a drink than me." Julia nudged Lady and nodded towards the Weft-hissy-fit-age. "Or perhaps some company?" she added, smiling wickedly.

The monk lifted a can out of the cooler, snapped it open and downed half of it without checking what it was.

"Better hope that was only Red Bull," his author remarked, going fortunately and miraculously unheard by every character in the room. "He goes crazy with a touch of alcohol."

"Antelope! The antelope are everywhere!" Weft yelped, spinning and repeatedly slashing extraordinarily gracefully at the empty air.

His drinks can reposed forgotten. Labelled in a language Weft could not read, it read Tidgy Mr Buggeh's Psychotropic Mushroom Amazing-Liquid. It just happened that the script looked almost identical, to a hurried glance, to his own language's word for tonic water.

Ishtar had gone to great trouble to procure it.

Julia fell off her chair laughing.

The Suitovly figure glanced at her, obviously enjoying the spectacle too. It was nice laughter. He was of the opinion that people should laugh more. Laughter led to other things, equally pleasant. If you could make them laugh, their hearts and... other bits would follow.

It helped when that laughter had a target, and when that target wasn't you.

"Watch out for the two-headed one behind you!" he called. Weft responded with more flashy swordsmanship. From his point of view the antelope appeared to have acquired purple spots and fiery fangs. Some of them were debating metamorphic vs lagomorphic rocks.

A horse's whiny could be heard from outside the hall. Suddenly, and with great theatrical aplomb, a horse burst through the windows. He reared up, screaming against a stunningly conveninent backdrop of lightning and billowing drapes. Then he calmly dropped to trot over to the buffet to help himself to the punch.

Two figures swayed upwards, supporting each other to their feet. One hiccupped and one started singing 'Home on the Ranch".

"Ladishs and gen'ulmun," slurred the one who wasn't signing. He pushed back his hat to reveal tastelessly red hair. "I 'ave here a shweet piece of drunk cowboy ass." Carnil shook his signing crutch. Both wobbled on their feet. Carnil giggled, and Jarone broke off into "She'll be coming round the mountain."

"Ladishs and gen'ulmun," Carnil stated again. "Bidding of this fine piece will start at a kiss and a nibble. Do I hear a fondle?"

He hiccupped again.

Ze Countessa, who had been standing quietly watching the group, could not resist.

"I bid one fondle, dah-lings"

She smiled in that predatory way only Issea could smile. This could get amusing.

Lights went off in Pasht's brain. Belay fuzz-smiting! Manflesh, 'ho!

"Second base and bite marks for you both!" she cried to the newcomers. (Suitov be damned, this could be a two for one deal!) Hirax used this distraction to scuttle under the table, narrowly missed a toppled Julia and increasingly unsteady Lady Knight on his way.

The little dragon dodged the equine and darted out the way its came in. The hall was getting a bit crowded for Sunev's broad manoeuvres anyway.

Suitov leaned towards Julia.

"Are you going to bid?" he asked. "I'd be more than willing to lend you a few earlobe-nibbles if you're caught short," he added heroically.

Julia raised an eyebrow, conveying most efficiently her sentiments which were: "Ya WHAT?"

"Why don't you start by helping me up and then we'll discuss what on earth's come over you, yes?" she said.

Carnil giggled and hicced simultaneoulsy. "It's a gift," he said. "So! Second base and hickies for the both of us! Do I hear blind-folds and riding crops?" He pouted. "Carnil's been a bad boy!"

Jarone swayed and stared on the Lucky Luke song. "I'm a poor, lonesome cowboy..."

Issea gently tapped her ever-present riding crop against one hand. "Oooo, dahlings! I do soooo love bad boys!" Her feral grin widened. "Riding crops, yes! But what of this second base you mention?"

The bad bonbonly one helped Julia up.

"I can't think what you mean, forsooth," he said. "Nothing's come over me all day..."

"Unlucky..." Julia said, backing away and groping for some kind of weapon. Her hands found the hilt of Lady Knight's sword.

It wavered a few inches in front of the bonbon's nose.

"Who are you and what have you done with Suitov Iceheart?!" she half-bellowed and half-whimpered (which is an interesting sound).