Hallowe'en 2008 4

"I don't think we've run across one another. Is that how you know him, through grail appraisal?"

The Knight investigated the stuffed peppers. The sweet things didn't seem to interest him much.

"Something vaguely related. Someone wanted as payment for a service I requested a certain chalice in collection, so I went and asked what the dragon would be interested in trade. And so on. Tedious business that was."

The bell peppers were stuffed with something resembling clover, yet presumably edible.

White Knight cocked his head and seemed to restrain himself from asking further about the trade, seeing as the young lady had said she found it tedious.

"Then, if I find any interesting drinking vessels, I'll keep him in mind. Dragons do seem to have their... little obsessions."

Oh, dragons do. Of course. Given the chance, he could talk about said thunder-lizards all day. Which was why it was dangerous to put him in the outfit of a Knight; a ready-made excuse is what it was, he reflected. Bleedin' dangerous.

The topic generator in his head threw up a card. "Incidentally, did you happen to encounter much wildlife on your way here?" he asked the charming Joker.

"No, just a few late bees and butterflies." Bugs that liked bright colours, apparently. "Did you?"

"We were lucky enough to see some bats in flight. Quite beautiful. Mm, and then there was that handful of peckish wolves. Do be careful when you leave, won't you? With any luck they've been frightened off by His Majesty and the dread scaly monster."

Always assuming it wasn't daylight, or some more odd weather condition, by then. Maybe there would be snow! Or magnetic storms...

The scaly monster had climbed on Black King's lap briefly. He was now investigating a pewter statue of a Scotty dog, almost as tall as he was. There were large-sized replica jacks, a pewter flatiron and wheelbarrow around the room too. Other items of 'furniture' more suited to serve as seats included a couple of giant dice and some stacks of what looked like draughts or backgammon tokens.

The Queen had taken a while to recollect her composure, as happy that the bantering had ended as she was not. It was tough. She too, incidentally, had caught on to the fact that there were free things to eat.

Overhearing this conversation, she started wondering if she should have been worried about the things outside.

Probably not.

Dragons still gave her the shivers.

All of a sudden, there was an epic sable death growl and the sound of a dull, soft impact somewhere behind the Queen. This continued for a few seconds.

Shortly, and with great self-importance, the doom beast dragged his catch across and laid it at the Queen's feet. It was a large pink-and-purple plush snake with goggly eyes. It was twice his length. He seemed to expect some sort of response to this.

His tail had started up again.

"I'll pay more attention, maybe then I'll see something interesting," the Joker answered just before the commotion. After taking in the little tableau, she asked the White Knight quietly, "Do you think keeping it from decimating the snake pit was part of my job, too?"

"His Majesty doesn't look so very annoyed," remarked the White Knight drily.

The Black King had abandoned all attempts at brooding and was looking away and biting his knuckle in order not to giggle. It was the way the beast had scored a terribly earnest death hold and shaken its foe to death. Or perhaps it was his lady wife's reaction.

The Queen sniffed and put on a jaded look upon inspecting the snake. She nodded then, and raised eyebrow both black and white. "A struggle of epic proportions. I thank you, beast," she said, patting the doom beast on the head. "At least one brings honour to the the house," sighed the Queen of Hell and Spades.

"Ooh! It was only a little serpent!" said the Black King indignantly, getting up from his comfortable perch atop the hat.

The doom beast gave it a bit more of the gambol in case further feminine attention should be forthcoming.

"Besides, believe me, I myself would like nothing more at this moment than to slay a dragon. If only," the Black King said, pointedly inspecting one of his onyxy spiked gauntlets of destruction.

"...she wasn't better armed than him?" the Joker suggested an end to that sentence in an undertone to the White Knight.

It was at that point that the Queen set her scythe to lean against a tabled and picked up the little serpent by one end. She hefted it like it was a very large flail and grinned at the Black King.

"Yes, yes, my lady, I see you've found a friend who can converse on your level," the Black King said, rolling his eyes.

"I wonder if he has any black magic left over," the White Knight said to the Joker as quietly as she'd spoken to him.

"Well, if he has, the question would be, is he more likely to use possibly deadly force on his habitual enemy" - she inclined her head in the White Knight's direction - "or his own wife?"

"Or both, if I choose to step in again," the Knight agreed. "Except, where are my manners? Would you prefer to take the next turn at prising them apart?"

The Joker watched the Doombeast for a few moments. It seemed happy enough.

"Nah, he asked me to be beastkeeper, not bodyguard or marriage counsellor. I'd rather enjoy the show."

"It's certainly taller than you, my dear," the Queen said with some morbid cheer, holding the serpent at her own level of height.

"How tragic, my own, that it could never be as slimy as you."

The doom beast slowed down his mad gambolling and play-bowing in order to listen. The Black Queen's gravelly voice made an amusing contrast with her King's soprano.

"Oh, pishposh and rubbish. My daily blood baths leave me quite dry," said the Queen, who indeed had a certain dry skin condition covered up by makeup. "In any case, a shame on you for not giving this poor black beast its due. Why must you hate your servants so?"