Quotes of Previous Days (2)

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quote:

"There is a level of cowardice lower than that of the conformist: the fashionable non-conformist."

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--attr Ayn Rand

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quote:

The mitey xspress trane pull up at hoggwarts plafform in a cloud of steam poo gosh and disgorge its cargo of brite-eyed eager boys and GURLS. i am milling about with assorted ticks, new bugs and weeds who litely hurl spells at each other and cri nigel is a mudblud am not are am not are ect.

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The funniest thing I have read in a long while. *dies* *dies* *redies* *DIES* May be compleetly opaque to those who haven't read Molesworth.

I've actually read Ayn Rand. I expected to be more frightened of her than I was. And now I have to find my wandering Heinlein paperback. Dammit.

Quote taken from Church Notice Sheet:

''We regret to inform the parish of the death of Rita Hayward. She had been going down hill recently and slipped away.''

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quote:

"You'd have ivory face, ivory hands, and on the more valuable ones, ivory legs as well."
[...]
"Obviously the more sinuous they are, the more sexy."

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--Antiques programme, BBC1, on right now.

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quote:

"It would have been done in maybe ivory but not bronze..."

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They're still at it!

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quote:

You interest me very much, Mr. Holmes. ... It is not my intention to be fulsome, but I confess that I covet your skull.

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--The Hound of the Baskervilles, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle


Alternative, which brings this humble pirate out in nostalgia-fuzzies at a glance:

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quote:

A hound it was, an enormous coal-black hound, but not such a hound as mortal eyes have ever seen. Fire burst from its open mouth, its eyes glowed with a smouldering glare, its muzzle and hackles and dewlap were outlined in flickering flame. Never in the delirious dream of a disordered brain could anything more savage, more appalling, more hellish be conceived than that dark form and savage face which broke upon us out of the wall of fog.

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--op.cit.

If you ever wanted to turn Basky's knees to jelly (or bring zir out in a devilish grin, depending) you could do worse than quote the latter at zir.

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quote:

Germany: A couple who desperately wanted a child after eight years of marriage went to a fertility clinic to be told: 'You must have sex to have a baby.'
The deeply religious couple, aged 30 and 36, had no fertility problems. But when asked how often they were having sex, they looked blank. A doctor at the University Clinic of Lubek said: 'They were simply unaware of the physical requirements necessary to procreate.'

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--Manchester Metro, May 17th 2004

When I was through laughing at this, it occurred to me how disturbing it is that two adults could be so unaware of their carcases. People, teaching only the abstinence method does not work, and is extremely creepy totalitarianism besides.

For Rina!

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quote:

Hipposong by Al Stewart

I was surrounded by a large hippopotamus
And nine of its friends who declared
"Quite a lot of us
Are feeling rather blue
And we don't know what to do."
I turned away but the large hippopotamus
Said that his pit of despair appeared bottomless
Yet hippopotami are
Not supposed to cry

I said "My, my, other people's problems
Do get tedious by and by
My, my you can never solve them
No matter how hard you try."

This brought a tear from the large hippopotamus
Who said in a voice that was growing monotonous
"You cannot get the sense
Of how it feels to be immense
The sleek and the slim make fun
Of the lot of us
And creatures who fly
Through the air
Sit on top of us
And even in the pool
We are faced with ridicule."

I said "My, my other people's problems
Do get tedious by and by
My, my you can never solve them
No matter how hard you try."

I came back as a large hippopotamus.

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quote:

I say, I tried researching the Egyptian Gods, but kept encountering amonalous results.

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-- someone trying to ingratiate himself with ReeToes.

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quote:

"Dear little chap!" said Holmes strategically. "What a rosy-cheeked young rascal! Now, Jack, is there anything you would like?"
The youth pondered for a moment.
"I'd like a shillin'," said he.
"Nothing you would like better?"
"I'd like two shillin' better," the prodigy answered after some thought.

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--The Sign of Four, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

(Don't go here if you want to escape in less than half a day.)

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quote:

They made a slip conection in a cyberbar somewhere
He said "I didn't mean to irc you, I was hoping for a chat"
She said "my home page or yours?" and they were ROTFL
They had all-night conversations many more times after that

Chorus:
He said, "I virtually love you,
But sometimes, I wish that you could spell
And I'm hoping maybe someday we could meet offline
Maybe someday you could meet me in RL"

"RL," she said, "I think I might have heard of that before
But my online Rand McNally's incomplete"
She said "I live in Chicago"
He typed "Funny, so do I"
At the same time, they both typed the words "what street?"

She typed M - A - P - E - L
He typed M - A - P - L - E
"I'm right near 34th Street"
She typed in caps, "THAT'S RIGHT NEAR ME!"

Chorus:
"I think I virtually love you,
But sometimes, I wish that you could spell
And I'm hoping maybe someday we could meet offline
Maybe someday you could meet me in RL"

He's noticing the waitress in the coffee shop downstairs
As she writes the breakfast specials on a chalkboard by the door
It's French Toast with 'mapel syrup' and he can't believe his eyes
So he jumps up from the table
Spills his coffee on the floor

Chorus:
He says, "I know you've never seen me,
But I feel as if we know each other well
I'm so glad that I found you offline
Oh, maybe it's a good thing you can't spell
Or I never would have found you in RL!"

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--RL, Dave Nachmanoff

Today's quote is just to remind you what a shabby, dirty, nasty little world people can make it.

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quote:

I even named my computer mouse Scabbers after Ron's pet in the Harry Potter books. It's really fun. Sometimes I'll talk to it while I'm working as though it's a real pet. "Hey Scabbers, I'll give you some cheese if you open that .exe file." Or something like: "Scabbers, you little rascal, did you just cause my computer to freeze?"

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-- one Donald Nyffington.

It gets worse - MUCH worse - but I'll let you find out through the guy that discovered it. Milesey decided to creep his friendslist out by sharing the link, so I've extended the favour.

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quote:

The cat is on the mat,
You say. I look.
You tell me it is written
In a book.

Where is that other cat?
I hear no purr,
I see no whiskers and
I feel no fur.

You trust that book
Which you are reading from.
But I do not, I am
A Doubting Tom.

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--Doubting Tom, Sydney Carter

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quote:

  'I should be a Villain, could I think of her on any other terms than marriage; and in truth She seems possessed of every quality requisite to make me happy in a Wife. Young, lovely, gentle, sensible...'
  'Sensible? Why, she said nothing but "Yes," and "No".'
  'She did not say much more, I confess--But then She always said "Yes," or "No," in the right place.'

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--from The Monk, a 1796 novel by Matthew Lewis, which is happily destroying my inner monologue as only this kind of language can. The annotations in the back are most fascinating too.

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quote:

There hav bene much spekulation (as headmaster sa when BOYS hav got wind of some sordid truth and he is about to FIB) about the skooldays of my grate frend and fellow sufferer holmes minor who hav a visage like a baboon and is a clot faced wet.

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--Young sherlock holmes: the fakts
You may, of course, smek me for posting two quotes in brief succession.

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quote:

"One is the fact that terrorism works. It doesn't fail. It works. Violence usually works. That's world history. Secondly, it's a very serious analytic error to say, as is commonly done, that terrorism is the weapon of the weak. Like other means of violence, it's primarily a weapon of the strong, overwhelmingly, in fact. It is held to be a weapon of the weak because the strong also control the doctrinal systems and their terror doesn't count as terror. Now that's close to universal. I can't think of a historical exception, even the worst mass murderers view the world that way. So take the Nazis. They weren't carrying out terror in occupied Europe. They were protecting the local population from the terrorisms of the partisans. And like other resistance movements, there was terrorism. The Nazis were carrying out counter terror."

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--Noam Chomsky

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quote:

"There is no baby universe branching off as I once thought," Prof Hawking admitted yesterday. "I'm sorry to disappoint science fiction fans but if information is preserved there is no possibility of using black holes to travel to other universes. If you jump into a black hole, your mass energy will be returned to our universe, but in a mangled form which contains the information about what you were like."
--Guardian: Hawking: I've solved the black hole riddle

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A very weird quote from me, so avoid if Christian messages offend you. I found it amusing.

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quote:

Lord of all pots and pans and things, since I've no time to be
a saint by doing loving things or watching late with thee,
or dreaming in the dawn light or storming heaven's gates,
make me a saint by getting meals and washing up the plates

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--from today's Daily Service

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quote:

I think it was a physicist who said the truest thing about this. He said, good people have done good things, and bad people have done bad things without the help of religion, but for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.

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-- Philip Pullman on "Belief"