Crush help 01

Tips for someone having a terrible time getting over one of these things? I'm not even sure I should want to get over it! They're very nice, sweet and smart.

As for finding out if you should want to get over it, you could try to spend some time with them. And, well, I nearly said "show yourself from your worst side", but what I mean is, don't try to be extra-... whatever. Be yourself, don't try to impress them or something.
If they don't start avoiding you, and you still like them after getting to know them better, I'd consider that a good sign.

If you're the kind of coward who'd rather get over it without trying, run for the hills. Move on, get away from them and find something else to occupy yourself. Worked for me every time. :)

Repeat to yourself "he'd (they'd) put me down humiliatingly and/or punch me out if I tried anything" and act extra awkward in their presence.

Hasn't worked for me yet...

Kidnap them and see if they still like you?

Nico: Well, I know someone who'd occasionally benefit from being kidnapped and held somewhere before they do something stupid.

Daaren, with an eloquent look at Nico: Yes.

Nico: Okay, okay. [Takes deep breath] I know at least three people who at at least one point in the past or possible future would have benefitted, or would benefit, from being abducted and tied up and/or locked in a room without windows to keep them from doing something detrimental to their own and/or others' wellbeing, until such time as they have calmed down and/or thought said idea over again and realised it is not a good idea at all. Happy now?

*Nico surprisingly fails to fry under the combined glares of Daaren and Sylvie, and shrugs.*

Nico: More on topic, kidnapping, unless meant figuratively and you're thinking more along the lines of spiriting-away for a surprise date, I'd think a bit tricky, since it may get rougher than the be-crushed would appreciate.

...you people have really stupid customs.

... or unless you have a good idea of how rough the be-crushed would like things to get, that is. ^_^

For getting over it, imagine the worst crime the person could possibly do, something that would definitely make you not want to be around him or her for ever, right?

Then report him or her to the authorities for it.

Fortunately it seems very unlikely they would be committing heinous crimes.

Well yes, you might have to give bribes or plant evidence, obviously.

That sounds a bit excessive to me.

Yes, yes, it does...

If you want them dead that badly, killing them yourself would be less work, and more certain to lead to results.

It may not help get over your crush, though, because then the memory is unsullied.

I'll pass, thank you.

If you fool the authorities into sentencing someone to death, or kill them yourself, you killed them.

Frankly, I'm surprised you'd suggest trying to fool authorities.

Yes, but if they're convicted of something you find unforgivable, then you won't mind as much, because they're a criminal.

There's authority and there's authority...

I'n not so good at fooling myself that I'd forget they are not a criminal, but have been set up.

A: How about humiliating yourself in front of them? If they still like you, what a good sign it is!

Alternatively one could of course just act normal and see if they are interested to begin with.

H: I'm a firm proponent of shutting the hell up.

Wild night of passion. In my experience nothing kills a crush stoner deader faster.