Allo 38

Lance seems to be the buttof quite a few jokes, it seems. Poor guy.

This is a very, very random question, but does any of you remember ever mentioning a character from Firefly to me in conjunction with one of my charries? Some semi-memory has been niggling at me all evening, since watching the film on DVD (Serenity, which is fairly good, but I imagine it works better in the tv series format).

Lance is good at being the butt of things. *ahem*

I want a dog. *howl*

There's a schnauzer I'll drop kick across the ocean to you. It could use a good home, preferably in heaven. We were on vacation outside San Antonio this week and the beast attacked my child. The owner says it loves everyone but I'm looking at the complete set of dental impressions on my child's leg and finding that hard to believe. Ah yes, the lady was a real self-proclaimed dog expert and was appalled and thunderstruck by my demands for her veterinarian's name and phone number. Then I stood right there in front of her and had a lovely discussion with the vet's office about the dog's rabies vaccination history. Then I quoted her chapter and verse of the Texas Rabies Regulations. Really, don't mess with the baby bear when the momma bear is around .... she'll kill ya dead and eat ya up. (She's fine, by the way, the wounds are all healed up now and most of the bruise is gone).

And if that wasn't enough drama for the vacation, we got back friday and today her hamster dies. And my ASSociate vet evidently threw some sort of Prima Dona-esque tantrum last week and flounced out saying she was going to quit. (An amusing thought since Friday is her last day anyway). And my staff of chickens draws straws to see who's going to call me on my vacation and tell me this. So I'm walking around the water park, alternately laughing and cursing a blue streak at my ASSistant vet.

We do so know how to have fun, don't we?

Really, I need to start writing soap opera scripts. Hollywood's best imagination can't hold a candle to my reality!

Okay, all done whining now!

Poor princess! And hamster. Good job MommyBear's on the case. *huggles*

Blargh. *bleary eyed* Right, I'll get back to that posting thing now.

My daughter fell out of the shower.
Really.
We're a co-ordinated bunch, 'tis true.
She comes by her lack of grace naturally - her uncle once broke his toe playing ping pong.

So, the kid falls backwards out of the shower and lands with her full weight across the bottom of the shower door. So when I took her to the doctor for her well-kid visit yesterday, she had two huge perfectly straight bruises across the backs of both her legs. Looks like she's been caned. Medical student we saw first was less than impressed. Took the kid out in the hall and quizzed her about what REALLY happened. Then as we're leaving she takes her aside again and asks her if there is anything she's worried about or needs to talk to a grown up about.

Stephanie's regular pediatrician, who has treated her from birth, didn't seem concerned, but that medical student was completely unimpressed by my parenting.

So when you hear on the news about the arrest of the Texas Cane Mom, that would be me......

Jeez.

Good thing that dog bite had healed up already or I would really have had some explaining to do......

Eep. How awkward!

I understand. I've broken my ankle and dislocated my shoulder walking, gotten a concussion from a peice of flying plastic lightsaber, scarred myself making risotto, choked on air, nearly chopped my thumb in half with an art scalpel and fallen over my cat a dozen times, amongst other things.

And two days ago I accidentally dyed my hair orange.

O_o

And the best I ever managed was trying to make a hotdog out of my thumb...

You guys make my controlled butchery of my big toe (I have a recurring ingrowing toenail) sound positively skilful...

I have a scarred thumb from using kiddy scissors on a bag of jelly beans and a scarred ankle from vigorously stirring boiling macaroni. And an ingrown toenail with home surgery marks. And I regularly trip on absolutely nothing, landing on my face. I am smooth, yo.

Ree, if we ever put you and Jess in a room together, we'd have to wrap everything in bubblewrap. Including you guys.

That sounds like fun!

Bubblewraaaap... *wiggles all fingers*

But bubblewrap is for popping! It's dang fun, too.

Nraa braaainz... bubblewraaargh-pff...

I hate blenders.

.....dang.

I am sick.