The Origin Of Piper

The Origin of Piper

'Tween beds of yellow roses, where the trellis arched above
A magpie and a sewer rat proclaimed forbidden love.
Coincidental timing, in a grassy field nearby
A black rat wooed a Friesian cow with fatuated sigh.

These matches, though unlikely, bore a hybrid child apiece;
Two tragic sorts of mutants, stark and monochrome of fleece.
Reviled alike by beast and fowl, they slipped off through the sedge
For rendezvous and lovers' tryst beneath a hawthorn hedge.

A thirteen-hourlong labour later, mewling filled the den:
A squalling piebald infant with the appetite of ten.
With parents both exhausted and no money for a creche
They dumped it next to Tesco in a crib of metal mesh.

Half rat, part cow, part corvid, this bizarre creation weans,
Surviving on the café's burnt-on egg and cold baked beans.
If not for one misfortune it might be there to this day:
My critter-loving mother BROUGHT IT HOME AND LET IT STAY.

Evidence


Notes

• This was posted up at the old boards, but I didn't repost most of my stuff when we moved. But Julia asked me to. Muaha.
• Originally I was considering titling this The Origin Of Faeces before I decided that nah, man, that's foul.

*snickers*

Auuuugh!