(Old version of Part One)

Sankmarray 1: Contact

Pirates!

Kill!

Blue-clad, Alluring Swiper's body inscribed an insolent punctuation mark on the pier. Ner feet, toe-stockinged, shifted flawlessly in time with the billowing boards. Pirates! Ner blood was singing. This was just like in practice!

There had been fifteen. There were eleven still standing. Ne'd surprised them. War claws fully extended, Alluring concentrated ner weak psychic control power. On its own, it packed just enough clout to make panicked, disoriented enemies attack ner--one by one.

One stupid pirate rushed ner. Easily evading the sonic cutlass, Alluring cut the pirate's face open, following up with a kick to the solar plexus.

Ne was facing the other way again, looking for a new opening, by the time ne heard the splash. With any luck that one was following ner thermal ninjato on its way to the ocean floor. That annoyed Alluring. Ne had liked that sword.

"Heave to! No-one else attacks ner!"

Oh, one had a brain. Alluring evaluated. All of the pirates were touting those bone-shearing sonic cutlasses. Most had the short knives Alluring's people knew as ti don, which they wouldn't need if they would just be like sensible people who had slashing claws. There was a big pirate, however, whose offhand was free. The one that had bellowed. That added up: this must be a pirate king, the first Alluring had ever seen.

The ninja let fly ner precious remaining radio shuriken, scoring several direct hits. Cries and grunts. Smirking, ne focused ner psi power again--trying to seed anger, fear, reckless abandon. Especially the last one. "Come and get me," ne said aloud, for good measure.

"Heave to, I bade ye! You hold!" the pirate king roared, halting one or two subordinates before they came within range. "And ready One-O'er."

Alluring had no idea what a One-O'er was and didn't like the sound of it. Some piratical trick? They were notoriously treacherous with their devil technology. Ne changed ner tactics abruptly, now looking only for a way to get at the king. The king--the coward--was backing away. The others were sheathing their don and readying some kind of devices. Alluring tried a few feints and was kept back by the sonic blades. Ne needed an opening!

"Activate," the pirate king commanded, and little devices flickered into life. Alluring leaped back, teeth bared. In front of the pirates there appeared--other ninjas!

Alluring stared in frank confusion. It looked like mirror fields, but angled crazily--in one shimmering rectangle Alluring could see nerself from behind. A limber, tailless beauty in camo cloth currently blue as the ocean. Ne cut a particularly gorgeous figure, Alluring granted, but why would any enemy want to project more of ner?

Ner eyes met the king's. "Funny thing we've discovered," the pirate growled. "Inverse ninja law, we call it. The more of ye there are, the weaker. Not so deadly now, are ye?"

A few pirates advanced. They were shepherding ner. Alluring retreated a few steps--stumbled. This was nonsense, and yet ne did feel a bit... strange. Ineffectual. More of a faceless grunt, less of a hero. It was true that ninjas fought alone by choice. Ner eyes were drawn back to the king, as something uncoiled from around the big pirate's waist and into the free hand. If that was one of the psi whips pirate kings reportedly carried, Alluring could be in some real danger.

Now, belatedly, Alluring realised why the king had moved some distance back. It wasn't a retreat; it was to find enough room. The whip cracked--its metallic tip, which held Alluring's attention like a snake, curled upwards and split itself into several strands, eight or more, which seemed to taste the air. The pirate advanced and threw the tip towards Alluring, who dodged fluidly.

Dodged too late. The whip struck true. Shock and pain, mainly shock, overwhelmed the psychic ninja's mind. Alluring buckled and hit the jetty like jelly, just as someone said "Gotcha".

Alluring was still conscious. Nothing wanted to move, even ner eyelids, while if ner ears were to be believed, ne had suddenly materialised inside a great big dented dustbin.

"--w did Temple find us so accursed fast?" a pirate was saying.

Wait, ait, why do you thininink I'm the gubbernmenenent? Pff, stuuuup...

"--ush a minute," said the king's voice, circling, suspicious. Then the psi whip struck Alluring a second time and ne took an enforced nap.

++++

It was all those blasted palaeoanthropologists' fault.

Taupeshank sagged a little and apprehensively scanned the skyline and the waters. Knowing crew members were groaning and bleeding all around, pe had to force pimself to do so. Taupe was a pirate king, and that meant doing all sorts of counterintuitive things.

Nothing alarmed pis heightened senses; no avenging ninjas, no port authorities. Taupe hurried at last to the jetty's edge, where pis lieutenant was pulling Beigeheel out of the water. Taupe caught an elbow and helped. The crewpirate was clutching pis face where the ninja had gashed it.

Beigeheel hadn't come off worst, though. Others of the crew were seeing to the six who hadn't got up again. Two wouldn't be getting up at all. The remainder... Taupe didn't know.

How had Temple located them so quickly? Assuming they had? Simplest possibilities: a tail none of them had noticed (bad), or the ninja nation had broken their encryption months earlier than anyone had thought possible (worse). And if Temple had got wind of what they were carrying...

"I don't know, Lilac," the king finally said in response to the technician's question. "Once we're back at the ship, be looking into it, please. If they've cracked DJ50, home needs to know at once."

Lilacfist nodded once, down and up.

"Get everything and everyone back into the boats," Taupeshank continued more loudly. "We can't risk bartering for fuel now. I want to be in the air before anyone sniffs the blood."

The crew obeyed.

"What'll we be doin' with that?" asked Taupe's lieutenant, Roseeye, prodding the unmoving ninja none too gently with pis sandal.

Taupe pressed pis knuckle claws (broad, blunt and non-retractable, unlike those devilish ninja cutters) to pis lips for a second. "We'll have to bring ner. Alive, yet. Can't afford to waste anything until we know what be going on."

But, seeing the mess their enemy had made of Redrighthand's chest, Taupe had felt for a moment the same urge as the rest of them: to dump the ninja offquay and leave ner for the chum sharks.

Pe ended up staring at the creature in the bottom of the longboat as they sped back to the ship. Ninjas greatly resembled pirates outwardly; digitigrade instead of flat-footed, shorter and broader in the nose, the keel of the chest was sharper, of course the hips were different, and--driven by natural piratical curiosity, Taupe pulled off the facemask and pushed aside the upper lip--yes, it was true about the doubled fangs; they were smaller, narrower, but there were eight of them.

Taupe felt pis own two lower canines with pis broad tongue and hummed pis indecision along to the motor's throaty racket.

The longboats docked. By right, the king always boarded first. Pe paused with pis hand on the ship's door and faced the remainder of the landing party.

"You all did well just now," Taupeshank said. "You're fine, brave pirs. Now, at this time we've to be thinking only of survival and not revenge. This ninja is coming with us because we've no choice--and I don't like it either. Ye've all heard about what they can do. I don't like to be puttin' me pirs in danger for no reason; I know ye knows that."

Taupe had long since accepted pis own ineloquence, pis unshakeable habit of slipping into Old Dialect when eyes were on pim; had learned to make these failings serve pim instead of scuttling pim. Among pis contemporaries pe had floated a reputation as a plain-speaking pirate. Stay around Taupe for a while, though, and you quickly learned... well, that small ripples hide a deep undertow. The crew murmured "aye"; many grimly, some reluctantly, but they all ayed.

A few economic commands set them securing the longboats, gently moving the injured and dead inside and making preparations for takeoff. Roseeye, as second-in-command, had the task of searching their somnolent guest and giving ner a manicure. A warning look from Taupe told pim not to have too much fun accidentally bashing the ninja's head on the bulkheads.

Taupe knew the lieutenant would have preferred to help with the injured, or just about anything else, but Rose's prosthetic hand wasn't too delicate when it came to doctoring and when it came down to it, Taupe trusted pim most. At least when a king was unhappy pe could spread it around.

Damned anthropologists! Damned heavy equipment! Why had Taupe's had to be the only ship in the area when the call went out? Pe didn't regret going to the rescue, though. The two scientists had been in danger from the moment they made their find. That their base had just happened to be bombarded within days of their radioing home with the news... coincidence?

Not every pirate king in that situation would have answered their call, and that was precisely why Taupe felt pe had no choice.

Pe remembered to say a few encouraging words to the technician Lilacfist, now their sole remaining technician. Operation One-O'er had been a success in its... well, 'unscheduled field trial' sounded better than 'desperate improvisation'.

Against a lone ninja their losses could have been far greater.

Taupe reminded pimself of that as pis ship laboured into the sky, fighting to reach an altitude at which they could cruise and conserve their remaining fuel, and as Taupe concentrated on the tasks only pe could fulfil.

At times like these a pirate king's beard could weigh heavily on one's shoulders.

++++

They'd clipped ner claws!

That was the first thing Alluring noticed. They'd clipped ner beautiful war claws. They'd removed ner headscarves. Also, ne was still alive.

Ner head felt worse than it used to after one of Master Sprinter's training sessions. Aftereffects of the psi whip, evidently. What sort of savages designed such a tool specifically to target a sensitive ninja's mind?

Alluring was lying curled on ner side on a clean, unfussy mattress affixed to the floor. Ne saw blank, faintly sloped grey wall in front of ner eyes. Ner camo cloth had turned a matching pale shade. There were engines somewhere. The whole place, whatever ne was in, was moving.

Ne lifted ner head. There was a ringing in ner ears. Ne staggered a little on the way over to the window. Outside...

They weren't at sea level. That wasn't water or cloud around the hull. They were in the Celestial Sea, the layer in the sky where flying boats sailed. That meant they were... er... something-thousand metres up. Was it morning? Had ne been unconscious that long?

The ringing in ner ears hadn't gone away. It returned with every movement. It was more a jingling than a ringing. Waaaait... Alluring's hands darted to ner throat. A gadget of some sort around ner neck. Smooth strap. Some kind of lock, but no keyspaces ne could detect by feel.

"That's an Electric Bell," said someone Alluring had heard before. "Lets us know where you are. Don't fiddle. Wearer can't remove it."

Alluring turned to glare at the pirate king. With every movement ne made, the little emitter jingled.

Ner captor was sitting out of reach beyond a businesslike set of bars. Alluring approached the cellfront for a better look. Pe was arresting. Not glamorous, not by any stretch of the word. Sun-bitten, even swarthy. No makeup. Hair loose. Authoritative. Assured. Large brown eyes. A pirate's aquiline nose. Dark lips, a lightly furred chin.

Pe was also shirtless, pirates, like ninjas, having no primary or secondary sexual organs to conceal, and clothing thus being a question of comfort and practicality rather than modesty. Still wearing the tri-corner hat, though.

And visible over pis shoulders, extrapolating out of sight across the back of the neck and down the spine, Alluring could see the fringe of hair confirming that this was, indeed, a pirate king. Subordinate pirates did not grow those 'beards', Alluring had been told.

The pirate's hair was salt-and-pepper and... ruggedly groomed, ne thought. 'Windswept' would have been too romantic, 'mangy' too harsh.

"Now. Name and school," the pirate said.

"Alluring Swiper, school of the Cloud," Alluring said. There was no point in lying about the basics.

"Cloud, eh?" said the pirate. "Who was your master?"

"Fleeting Sprinter." That hadn't been one of the questions you were told to expect.

"Hmm. Nobody I've heard of." The pirate settled back as though dismissing a tangential thought. "Well then, Alluring Swiper. My name is Taupeshank and you're about to tell me why you attacked my crew."

Were you hatched backwards? "You're pirates. I'm ninja," said Alluring. "I wasn't aware that I needed a reason."

++++

Taupeshank inwardly winced. Just pis luck, this one wanted to play stupid games. Steadily, pe pressed: "Why did you attack my crew on this particular occasion?"

"I saw you, you looked distracted and I thought I could take you," said Alluring. The ninja was nervously extending and sheathing ner war claws. Ne was golden-haired, pasty and afraid.

"Are you saying," pe enunciated clearly, "that you were there by chance?"

"Y... well, no. I was there on a day contract. I ran into you by chance." The ninja looked at pim without blinking. There was something about ner face that felt somehow unnerving, almost bestial. Ninjas were foreign. It made them easy to demonise as Not Real People. Taupeshank distrusted all easy options.

"Look, I mean, you're pirates," Alluring said. "You're our hated enemies. We always fight. What would you have done?"

Taupe laughed shortly. Run like hell, if we'd seen you first.

"Why haven't you killed me?" demanded the ninja.

"Why, would ye prefer me to?" Taupe asked, getting half to pis feet and letting the butt of pis whip fall into pis hand from its place at pis waist. Loosening coils slipped down over pis breeches as the whip began to uncurl.

Alluring darted backwards with an electronic jingle and a yelped "No!"

Taupe settled again with an air of barbaric innocence that said "oh, please yourself". So you want to live, pe thought, that's useful.

The ninja took some seconds to relax again. Taupe squinted at ner. "Wait. How old are you?" pe asked, abruptly suspicious.

Alluring's expression battened down right away, which was all the confirmation pe needed. Taupe pressed, "You're only a youngster!"

"I'm adult!" protested Alluring in a high voice.

"Typhoons." Taupe shook pis head. "You said you were in Port Dasq on contract. Your first?"

"No," Alluring vehemently said.

Taupeshank said nothing.

"Master Sprinter once brought me on a run with ner, so not really my first," Alluring admitted after a moment or two.

Taupeshank said nothing, harder.

Alluring seemed to steel nerself. "What are you going to do with me?"

Don't ask me. "Well, nin, that depends. Oh, you won't be harmed if you don't try anything stupid." Careful, not too soft. "I've no especial wantin' to toss ye overboard. O' course, if I did, you'd have nineteen chances in twenty of hittin' water, but from this high up that don't make much difference. Ye catch my meaning?"

"Yes, King T...topshank."

"Taupe, nin, it's Taupeshank. It's a shade of grey. You'll learn about those as you get older." That one went straight over the ninja's head, unsurprisingly. Taupe got up and left through the archway.

++++

On second thought, 'mangy' wasn't too harsh at all. Barbaric creatures. Alluring stuck ner tongue out, turned ner back on the archway and settled down to sulk.

++++

Taupe felt no sympathy. This young ninja had killed three of pis crew--and that might still increase to four before the day was out--just for fun. That was assuming Taupe believed ner, which on balance pe was inclined to. In pis private estimation, no-one that young was that good at seeming that inept.

The ship's octoped flollopped past. Taupe absently patted him.

A youngster! Another complication Taupe, who still occasionally tried to pretend pe was a simple pirate, did not need. And a story pe found plausible, but against which pe was not at all prepared to put up the lives of pis crew.

The surgeon, Crimsonwrist, was up the wall. After asking if pe needed anything more, Taupe left pim to pis work.

Lilacfist, when Taupe reached the flight deck, had no definite answers. DJ50 might have been broken; they had to assume so. But they still had to tell Liberty Port the news, which presented the obvious difficulty. Taupe stepped up to the transceiver.

"This be Liberty."

Excellent. Taupe recognised Ruddygum, a bright young operator who had served on pis crew for a while. Pe thumbed the TX switch. "A good, fine mornin', Blackthroat. This is the FPS Errant Buoy with our mornin' report."

(There's trouble.)

"Ahoy, Errant Buoy. What's happening?"

(What's happening?)

"Oh, 'tis quiet, quiet. We ran into some shoals at P't Dasq, must've been twenty-one of them. We're about four hours behind but hope to make back some time today--if the weather doesn't throw the usual eight thousand squalls."

(Meaningless filler.)

"Thank you, Errant Buoy. Is that all?"

"That's all, Liberty. Say, Blackthroat, is Ceruleanhip on duty? I wanted to talk to pim about the party."

(Get me someone in homeport security.)

"Hold on, I'll see if pe's got time to chat."

"Ahoy, Errant Buoy! Taupe, you old salt! What be the news?"

(This is someone in homeport security. And this'd better be good.)

"Srool, you scurvy beast! I hope you've got that rum laid by for Saturday!"

(We were attacked and escaped with six wounded or dead.)

"I've got the rum if you've got the thirst!"

(What were they after?)

"I surely have, and so have me guests. Ye'd better serve it in plastic glasses, matey."

(I don't know. Possibly the people/cargo/equipment we're transporting. Our encryption has been/may have been/is about to be broken.)

"Aye, you think so?"

(How certain are you?)

"Without a doubt, or there'll be splinters everywhere."

(Not at all certain. Circumstances suggest.)

"Ye're probably right. Don't forget to show up early. And keep in touch, you scallawag!"

(Don't take the chance. Come home by a circuitous route, evading anyone who tries to follow you. No further radio contact after this transmission.)

"Good luck, Taupe," Ruddygum put in before Liberty Port broke contact.

"Well, they're taking the problem seriously," Lilac said.

"They're taking it, and that's enough for me. Let's eat," said Taupeshank, tapping in the new route over the navigator's shoulder.

The ship's cook, Gingerbeard, had a past that was clearly legible from one glance at pim. Unusually for a crewpirate, pe was almost as big as Taupeshank and still sported eponymous tufts of fur down pis back.

"God knows what I be supposed to feed ner. What do ninjas eat?" pe asked Taupe when the latter showed up in the galley.

The patch over one of pis eyes gave a clue as to why Ginger, who was obviously a former king, had lost pis own ship.

"Same things as pirates, as a rule. Give ner some fish and dulse or something. Nothing fancy. You know," Taupeshank said, "prisoner food."

Ultimately, the crew had to be able to rely on their king's sharp senses--and anyhow, a king with one eye made easy pickings for a challenger. It was deeply unfortunate, and typical of life out here, that one accident could leave a king shipless, completely legally, without any chance of winning another.

"Ar. We don't want ner deciding to move in," Ginger agreed.

Many kings even refused to have an old king on the crew, believing it unlucky and justifying their superstition in terms of mutiny risk or divided loyalties.

"Perish the thought. And you don't need me to tell you not to give ner any sharp metal or glass."

But Taupe knew Ginger, and Ginger was all right. Pe showed no ambitious tendencies and even claimed to enjoy cooking.

"Oh aye. Plastic all the way. I know the routine." The cook winked. Or so Taupe assumed.

Certainly the others enjoyed Ginger's cooking. After their meal, Taupeshank beckoned Roseeye over for a groom. The lieutenant was squat in the way that compressed springs are squat. Pis hair was wiry like wires are. Taupe worked a few knots through with a brush.

Grooming was relaxing for all parties involved, and it was usual for a group of pirates to spend an hour or so daily on this communal activity. As if to prove the importance of a good groom, even ninjas had some kind of equivalent practice. Probably gave it ritualistic overtones, knowing them.

Roseeye managed fairly well with one artificial hand. Pe had lost the original defending pis king in a skirmish with rivals who, unfortunately, had had sonic cutlasses too. The replacement, from Prosthetic Extremities of Galgos, was the best Taupe had been able to afford. Nevertheless, the skin of Rose's left wrist, where the limb joined, often got sore and needed careful attention.

Some of the crew drifted over, looking for a chance to groom Taupe's beard. There was a bit of jostling among them. Taupe never interfered in this, except with a quick bite if anyone ever yanked pis hair. The intricate hierarchies had to be allowed to sort themselves out. For the most part, Taupe only brushed Rose. When you groomed someone as your second-in-command, you did literally that.

Conversation tended to drift a little during a groom. Rose continued a thread pe'd been talking about earlier, one that was on everybody's mind. "Ye know, though, I'm not saying I believe all this superstition about ninjas being unlucky on ships..."

"Well, you should," Taupe interrupted. "You should believe it."

"King?"

"Oh, not the parts where you sprinkle water at them or don't say their names, but the bit where they carry a disease that sends pirates mad. There's been evidence for that. I want all of you to be careful around ner. Keep an eye out for each other. I want to know about any funny business."

"Aye, king." The others murmured affirmatives too.

"But don't be afraid. There's nothing ne can do while Belled and caged."

"Mmm. Shoulder, please," Rose said, making an exaggerated scratching motion. Taupe responded. After a while pe turned to present pis back to Rose. The hangers-on lost interest and started combing each other instead. They wouldn't attempt to groom Taupe's face or neck. Only kings were allowed to do that.

That evening, though, Taupeshank had trouble turning pis mind off. There were countless things pe had to do, and the journey home had just got a lot longer.

++++

A different pirate came to bring Alluring's breakfast and clean the trays. After waking up several times from the noise of the ship or the monstrous Electric Bell, Alluring had spent the early hours trying to remember all ne'd learned about Libertalia's inhabitants.

Pirates, the shipboard ones especially, are highly superstitious cowards, Modest Scrabbler had told them. Nowhere is that clearer than in the barbaric sea-god they call...

Alluring was seated in a meditation posture close to the bars by the time the pirate came through the arch into the outer room of the prison. "I am an emissary of Isthmus," ne announced without preamble.

"No," said the pirate, "seriously?"

"Um, yes. Yes, I represent the great Isthmus. For Isthmus has been testing you and pe has found you worthy."

"Well, I be glad to hear that," said the pirate, clasping pis hands and looking at the ceiling.

"Right. Rejoice, pious pirate, for you will be blessed." Alluring made a hand motion that might, for all ne knew, signify blessings. "Just let me out of this cell that I might descend and speak with the great Isthmus..."

"Just one thing I be wondering," said the pirate. "Since when has the capital and major outfacing port of Galgos started blessing people?"

Alluring froze.

"Ye may've been thinking of Ishmethit, our name-for-god-at-sea," the pirate said helpfully. "Although Ishmethit is actually a she. Female, like the Galgothians. Well, half of them."

Alluring tucked up ner knees, dropped ner head on top of them and groaned.

"Don't be like that. It was a good performance, with the hand-wavin' an' all."

Ne had never placed highly in sociogeography. Alluring, bright red, tapped into ner weak ninja psychics and tried to project risibility and lack of threat. It was about the best ne could hope for.

"You going to eat, little emissary?" asked the pirate, too cheerfully for the embarrassed ninja's liking. Alluring accepted breakfast, being sure to touch pis hands while doing so, and then spent half an hour scowling at it.

++++

One of the anthropologists, Chalktail, hurried up as Taupe left pis cabin that morning. Taupe set pis teeth. Pe'd firmly suggested the two scientists might like to stay in their comfortable converted cargo hold with their nice specimens and lovely databanks.

Scientists, who considered themselves a breed apart at the best of times, had a tendency to get enthusiastic and quite innocently forget about things like chains of command.

"Taupeshank, scuttlebutt says you have a ninja in the, er, the brig?" Chalktail said brightly.

Blast. Taupe had hoped they wouldn't get wind of that. Should have given clearer orders.

"It would be immeasurably useful to our work if we could study ner," the short, eager pirate scientist continued.

"That isn't a good idea," Taupeshank told pim.

"Oh, but king, think of the benefit to science--"

"Chalk. Do you follow politics much?" Taupe asked.

"I-- do we-- no, not particularly. A prejudiced mind--"

"Well then, Chalkie, let me bring you up to speed." Pe observed as the impatient pirate prevented pimself from interrupting. Taupeshank said "We are in trouble. It is serious. Something we are carrying on this boat, namely your work, and this is just from the little you've told me, would give Temple exactly the excuse they're after to invade us outright, and if that happens, the other dry powers will do exactly squat to help.

"We don't want Temple to find an excuse to invade us.

"Now, we are out in the open halosphere, surrounded on every side by enemies and don't-cares, fuel is sickeningly low after yesterday, Liberty has broken radio contact, and in the middle of all this, you want me to let you do medical experiments on a prisoner of war."

"Oh," the anthropologist said. "When you put it like that."

"Yes."

"So, just to be clear, that's a no, then, is it?"

"Aye, it's a no, you myopic landweed!"

"All right! No need to be so formal!" Chalktail wandered off disappointedly after the briefest of submissive dips.

The nearest communication tube whistled the king's whistle. Taupe pulled it down and spoke into it. "We coming up to Isthmus, Burgundy?"

"Aye, king. Range in ten minutes."

"I'll be there." Taupe made for the flight deck, and twelve minutes later was deep in radio conversation.

"Aye, that's right, Isthmus. We're but a small scientific vessel, low on funds as well as fuel." Pe caught Roseeye's eye and grinned.

"That's as may be, Errant Buoy, but you realise we aren't a charity well. We'll need something in exchange. Don't you have anything you could trade?"

"Well, a little chronometric equipment... some lenses... er..." Taupe pressed a finger to pis lips, miming absent-minded cataloguing. "Oh! We do have a selection of mineral samples. Ours are mainly optical experiments, you see... lased light..."

Port Isthmus was quiet for a while. Then they said "We may be able to reach some kind of arrangement. Come in on Strait Three, Errant Buoy."

"Understood. Errant Buoy out." Taupe relinquished the mouthpiece. "Same rigmarole every time," pe said. "Rose, go and get the sack of rubies, will ye?"

The refuelling, with one thing and another, took the bulk of the daylight. Every delay gnawed at Taupeshank's nerves. As they struggled into the air again, Taupe strode into the engine room, startling two crewpirates who were playing histjack.

"Carry on, pirs," the king growled distractedly. Pe rummaged in the waste tray of the desalinator and took a cube of dry salt.

The continuing conversation caught pis ear. "And you'll never guess what ne did this morning. Pretended to be an emissary of Ishmethit. Only ne said Isthmus by mistake. Emissary of Isthmus!"

"Ye're a liar," said the other, switching dice on pim.

"'Tis true, I swear it!"

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Taupeshank put in.

The crewpirate shrugged. "Didn't seem important. It was such a pathetic trick. Sort of sweet, really."

"Not really," Taupe said, and walked out. Pe licked the salt cube absently on the way to the galley, where pe lifted a lime from the barrel and liberated most of a bottle of agave.

Pe sat, licked the cube, took a swig, bit the lime as though it was personally responsible for everything, and contemplated a pirate's semi-abusive relationship with alcohol.

Gingerbeard was lightly poaching a fillet of haddock. "Feeding time at the zoo?" grunted Taupe, briefly removing pis attention from the bottle.

"Plannin' to be finishin' that all by yerself?" asked Gingerbeard, stirring a cream and spinach sauce with pis tail.

"That's the idea," Taupe coughed. Then pe paused and pe looked properly at what Ginger was doing. "What in the name of all that's holy is that concoction?"

"Oh, it's for Alluring. Ne didn't seem to like my salmon puff pastries."

"Arrrre you out of your mind, pirate?" Taupe asked conversationally.

"What? King, ne looked so hungry and miserable."

"Open the tack barrel, you swab." Taupe flung down the lime and salt and carefully stoppered the alcohol, because however bad your mood, some things you didn't chuck around. Pe seized a plastic dish and plonked a biscuit in it. "And plain water. Next time ne complains, ne gets nothing. Am I being clear enough?"

"Aye," pouted the grizzled, scarred old cook.

"What is going on aboard my ship?" Taupe asked the scenery, storming out.

Voices were audible as pe approached the cells. "I dunno. It can't do no harm, right?"

"Would you? This horrible thing is hurting my delicate ears. I can't even sleep for the ringing. I feel so helpless and alone."

"Poor mite. Here, keep still."

Alluring had backed up against the bars and swept ner hair to one side, presenting ner neck to the pirate. The so-called guard was in the act of opening the combination lock on the Electric Bell.

The so-called guard was quite surprised when pis king's hand seized pim by the scruff.

Surprised, but not guilty enough, Taupe realised immediately. The king simultaneously hooked a finger through the prisoner's collar to keep ner within reach. "What in blazes do you think you're doing?" Taupeshank menaced at the pirate.

Alluring started squirming, letting out little jingles.

"Unlockin' the prisoner's Bell, king," the pirate said.

"Did I tell ye to do that?" Pe tugged warningly at the strap. Alluring fell still.

"Ye..." The pirate shook pis head a couple of times in Taupe's unyielding grip. "I can't remember. Did ye?" pe said.

"I did not. You are relieved, pirate. Go and work a shift in surgery. And as you're changing bandages, remember who carved up your mateys in the first place!"

"Yes, king." The pirate frowned once or twice before trotting off in the right direction.

Taupe meddled with the lock for a while. At length pe said "Combination's changed. Only I know it now." Pe released the ninja abruptly.

Alluring scooted back out of arm's reach, glowering. Ne extruded ner grooming claws and indulged in displacement activity. Taupe settled on the bench and uncoiled pis whip. Pe removed the steel-tipped cracker from its 'mouth' and began oiling its length, occasionally glancing at the ninja's grooming without much interest.

By degrees Alluring seemed to forget about sulking and sneaked more and more frequent looks at the psi whip. Finally the ninja spoke up. "Is-- is it true they're alive?" ne asked.

Taupeshank kept pis hands still. The whip stirred of its own accord, diamond-patterned coils shifting past each other. Alluring's pupils grew huge. "They're semi-sentient," the pirate said. "Not very bright, and they only have one name between them, but my understanding of the matter is that you don't get psi except in living things. Not alive, no psychics."

"What's going to happen to me?" Alluring asked after a second's silence.

Taupe matched ner pause before replying. And here's some good news you don't deserve, young one. "After we reach port, and providing you're who you say you are, most likely they'll put you on a prisoner exchange program. In good time you'll get to go home."

"Oh," said Alluring, lowering ner eyes.

"And what's the matter with that?"

"Nothing. I mean! Nothing! I wouldn't prefer you to kill me!" Alluring held ner hands up, presumably signalling appeasement or surrender. "It's just. If I'm released that way it... I'll be may preezay."

"In Pangaeic, not your devil tongue," Taupe snapped for the look of things.

"There's no word. I'll be... snubbed. Like... dishonour? For getting caught? It would've been more honourable to get killed, which, I repeat, I wouldn't rather do, but still, now I'm going to be an aria--I mean, a person of no account. Nobody is going to talk to me or let me groom them or work with me. They'll all say oh, there's Alluring, the meek one who couldn't even--um..." Ne gave Taupe an apprehensive look.

"Kill a handful of no-account pirates," Taupeshank finished, polishing off the whip with a cloth, coiling it and setting it aside.

"I'm sorry," said Alluring.

Taupe was silent for a full minute, looking at ner. "No, you aren't," pe said finally. "You're regretting it because you're scared, you're personally inconvenienced and your friends might say cruel things behind your back."

Alluring shrugged.

"On the other hand, ye will be sorry if I catches you messing with my crew--or trying to remove that Bell."

"Yes, Taupeshank."

Taupe held pis arm out to the whip, which climbed up it with relaxed coils. Pe cast a final look at Alluring. No, ninja, I do not trust you at all. Then pe went to eat.

++++

Alluring took a step sideways so ne could watch Taupeshank leaving.

Those sturdy legs--masterful, sure-footed gait--the short prehensile tail and strong arms (ne thoughtfully massaged the back of ner neck under the Bell's strap), all covered in short, apricot fur. And then there was that magnificent black-and-white mane all down pis back. Alluring wondered what it would be like to run ner claws through it.

War claws, obviously, to kill. Not grooming claws. Never that.

And pe had a brain to match. Certainly pe saw right through Alluring. Oh yes, King Shanky was impressive.

Alluring simply had to defeat pim.

Besides, pe didn't understand. Ninja society was cutthroat. If Alluring let nerself be docilely shipped back in some hostage exchange, ner social life would be over. Ne might as well just die.

The stupid redheaded chef dropped in an hour later with some truly inedible kind of biscuit and a flask of water at room temperature. Alluring, guessing the king had intervened there, ate without complaint. Ne assumed that would be the end of the evening's entertainment.

On this occasion ne was wrong. Taupeshank strode in as ne was curling back up on ner bed. Alluring felt a brief twitch of fear, as though the king could have found out...

Taupeshank rapped on the bars with pis knuckle claws. "Come, Alluring Swiper. You're about to see something very few ninjas have ever seen."

Pe ignored all questions. It was sheer curiosity, mostly, that caused Alluring to yield to being handcuffed and hurry jingling along the walkway in the king's wake.

Taupeshank stopped at a reinforced door. Beyond it, before the next identical door, was a small chamber, enough to squeeze a handful of pirates. Alluring had just started to wonder why anyone would fit a double set of doors when Taupeshank opened the outer one... and all the air in their tiny space tumbled away. Outside was fading sunset and incredibly loud winds.

"I can't breathe!" Alluring gasped.

Taupeshank said, "We're high up. You can survive it for a little while, and the sun's not strong enough any more to burn you. You don't want to miss this."

A few pirates were out here, leaning over the ship's rail. Panting hard from a constant sensation of almost suffocating, Alluring followed Taupeshank, noticing pe kept ner well away from the rest of the crew and never took pis eyes off ner.

Ne looked over the side and gasped... this time not from the thin air.

"These bloom only once every ten years, for two nights," Taupeshank said.

"They're beautiful," whispered Alluring.

The ship was passing between giant plants, huge round leaves twice Alluring's height across, floating high up on the Celestial Sea and almost black in the light of the setting sun. In between them, lovely peach and pink blooms extended on stalks, waving in the wind. Each petal was a double heart-shape and curled at the tip. They formed a many-layered crown around the centre of the flower, where little tendrils gleamed like gold.

"The orange ones will bloom again tomorrow night. The pink ones are finished now. A decade these have been waiting to give this display."

"But nobody's here to see it except us, and we're here by chance..."

Taupeshank pointed at a glittering bird as it darted around one of the orange crowns. "Those are the real audience."

The bird hove close to the centre of the flower, flapping rapidly. It landed and ducked inside. Then the unthinkable happened. The petals of the flower closed over it!

"Taupeshank, it ate the bird!"

Taupeshank laughed. Was pe heartless? "Remember I said the orange ones will open again tomorrow night? It'll turn pink and uncurl its petals. Then the bird will fly out, covered in pollen, and carry it to another flowerhead. That's what the flowers want. That's the price they ask for a drink of nectar."

"So the bird will be all right?"

"Dusty and probably a little confused, but right as rain."

"And-- and then it will be free?"

A smile curled up the king's dark lips. "Yes. It just has to be patient for a little bit."

"Hmm." Alluring watched the orange flower closing itself up. It looked smug. "Well, they're beautiful, anyway."

Ne looked sideways for the first time since catching sight of the flowers. Two unfamiliar pirates in white coats and aprons were pointing a little flashing box at the plants, chatting happily and inaudibly. Stupid pirates and their... things. Alluring turned back to the wonderful blooms.

A short while later, ne decided ne felt like a sit down.

"Whoa." Taupeshank caught ner by the arm. "It's back inside for you, nin."

"Pretty," Alluring thought ne muttered.

"Aye, ninny, if you say so." The king steered ner into the doory door thing. Not as much wind in here. Windy blowy wind. Windswept, that was what Taupeshank looked like. Alluring drifted along happily, supporting pim by the arm. Either that or pe was holding Alluring's arm. Maybe it was both. Yes, that would be more pleasingly symmetrical.

Oh yes, the cell door. The ninja nuzzled ner cheek against Taupe's broad shoulder--a little residual presence of mind, or else some basic ninja instinct, prompted ner to take advantage of ner own vulnerable state--and stretched out on the bed.

"Thank you," ne said with closed eyes. But the king had already locked the cell door and started off. Alluring didn't know whether pe had heard ner.

++++

'Pretty' they might have been according to the prisoner, but the decennial lilies had slowed their flight down. It had been a sleepless night for Taupeshank. They cleared the platelets around dawn and pe had just managed fifty-nine minutes' oblivion when the tube gave the king's whistle.

There was no need to ask if it was urgent. Taupe's flight deck crew had been carefully conditioned over the years. They were neither too eager nor too reluctant to call for pim. So Taupeshank said "What is it?"

"Boat coming up on our draught. They look like Didsbree skywaymen," Umberhank informed pim.

"How's visibility?"

"Good."

"Hoist Disgruntled Jack. Is Rose on the tooth deck?"

"Already on pis way, king."

"Good. I'm coming."

Taupeshank had pis feet on the flight deck even before the signal flag was fully raised. Disgruntled Jack meant "go away or we'll blast you".

"They're not altering course," Umberhank said. "Temple mercenaries, do you think?"

Taupeshank was already in pis place at the large draught window, drinking in every detail of the other boat.

"Low in the cloud as we are, and out in the middle of the Endemic? Any sky rat's going to be tempted," said the pilot Burgundyknuckle. Pe was looking too, with binoculars. "I can't make them out; looks like a..."

"Jenkwin 710 or 750," Taupeshank said clearly into the tube. "710. Looks like some custom armament."

Roseeye's voice came back to pim. "Vintage Jenkins and Winthrop. A while since I've sent one of those below."

"They've hoisted the Star!" Umber called, with a touch of panic that Taupe noted disapprovingly. The Star meant... well, it was always bad news.

"Ready down there, Rose?" continued the king calmly.

"Bring it two fingers a'gosh," Rose replied. The pilot obediently angled them slightly to the left.

Errant Buoy's first volley perforated them from nose to stern. The attackers returned fire.

++++

Alluring watched transfixed while pulses and flashes lit up ner eyes, like fireworks at the Festival of the Dolls. Every so often ne breathed "cool!" or "boom!"

++++

It ended quickly after Roseeye scored both their near-side engines. The Didsbree bruisers set their nose down and sank smoking from the halosphere.

Errant Buoy had sustained some damage, but they could limp on. Having to land for the prisoner's sake because they'd lost cabin pressure would have been the final insult.

"The trouble with a morning like that is, the rest of the day don't get any more excitin'," Roseeye said over breakfast.

"You'd better hope it doesn't, you muzzlerat," Taupeshank told pim.

But there was no further entertainment for the lieutenant. Taupeshank, having consumed a small lake of coffee, pored over navigation charts as the Errant Buoy sailed unfamiliar skies on its circuitous journey home.

There was something different in the air, and pe noticed it once or twice in the interactions of the crew. It was not the early stirrings of mutiny; indeed, the pirates' spirits had been holding up well. It was just... odd.

Pe had arranged the guard shifts appropriately after the ninja's last attempt at funny business. Beigeheel, whose heavily scarred face was courtesy of Alluring's claws, was unlikely to trust the ninja. There were suitably dire threats against anyone who approached ner for unapproved reasons. Taupeshank made sure cell duty was alternated with surgery shifts, just to drive the message home.

Yet there remained a strange tang to the atmosphere. After the evening meal pe was absolutely certain. A handful of pirates still clustered round their king, but now there were other dynamics too. Additional centres of attention.

"...only instead of Ishmethit, you'll never guess, ne said Isthmus by mistake!"

"Y'awwww."

"Bless."

"Unbelievable," growled Taupeshank.

"Well, ne asked me what ol' Tento was. Ye never seen an octoped before, I said? And ne said, no, what a weird kind of servant!"

"Y'awwww!"

"And I said no, he's a pet!"

"Y'awwww!"

"That's adorable."

"They've all gone bloody insane," growled Taupeshank.

"Oh come on, Taupe, it is pretty adorable," Roseeye said.

"Not you too!" the king groaned.

++++

It was dark outside before anything interesting happened. A pirate wearing a lab apron and a furtive expression stuck pis head through the archway. "All clear, Nose," pe whispered over pis shoulder in a painfully unstealthy fashion.

Alluring assessed the pair. Unlike the others, these seemed soft, unweathered. Civilian... no, what was the pirate word? Landgrubbers?

"Ahm, are you the ninja Alluring?" asked one of them.

Ne was startled that they'd needed to... oh, right, the clothes. Alluring had been sniffing pointedly at ner underarms all day, finally despairing of incredibly obvious hints and asking a pirate straight out for a change of clothing. Which meant pirates' clothing, unfortunately. The trousers were passable, as was the waistcoat, but ne drew the line at the shirt with the neckerchee. That stayed off.

Alluring decided to go for meek and timid. "Yes, I'm Alluring. Wh-who are you?"

"I'm Chalktail. This is Chalknose. We're palaeoanthropologists."

The ninja waited for that word to shed a few syllables and start making sense.

"What that means is we're scientists and historians of a sort. We specialise in ancient and modern peoples and the difference between them."

"Pleased to meet you. Have you come to talk to me? I'm lonely."

"Actually..." They nudged each other. "We were hoping you might be amenable to helping with our research. It would be of great benefit to science," the other one enthused.

"Me? How could I help?"

"Oh, nothing difficult. We need some photographs of you, if you'd be so kind." There was more nudging and Chalk... well, one of the Chalks produced that box flashy thing.

"What is that? I saw it yesterday," Alluring said, pointing at it.

"A camera. Don't you people have cameras?" asked one Chalk. The other tutted fondly.

Yes, but they were twice that size and the flashes were separate. Alluring weighed options quickly and shook ner head, a bemused rustic.

"It's a light collector. It makes pictures."

"It doesn't... hurt, does it?" Alluring asked, drawing back.

"Not at all. Look." The scientist pointed it at pis colleague. The flash went off. Pe showed the viewfinder to Alluring. Chalktail (or was it Chalknose) was overexposed and smiling stiltedly.

"Wow. There you are, in the camera," Alluring said.

"So would you permit us to take a few snaps of you? For science?"

"I s'pose," said the ninja coyly. "What do you want me to do?"

++++

A new craze was sweeping the decks by mid-afternoon. Taupeshank first caught wind of it when pe noticed crewpirates paying more attention than was natural to paperwork. Pe lifted pis head to watch what happened.

Lilacfist the technician walked up to Umberhank with a few bits of paper. "Umber, there's a report I need you to look at," pe said.

"What?" asked Umber.

Lilac showed it to pim.

"Oh you scurvy rat, you got me again!" Umber cried and took a half-hearted swing at the technician, who skipped out, giggling.

"Umber, what was that?" Taupe asked the navigator. The other flight deck pirates were variously giving knowing smirks or looking exasperated at the immaturity.

"Oh, pe just ninja-kissed me again. For the third time!"

"Pe did what to you?"

"It's when you show someone one of these," said Chestnutchest, the duty pilot. Pe held up a photograph. It was a picture of Alluring, teasingly poking ner tongue out.

"And is that supposed to be funny?"

"Well, aye. It's like being ambushed by cuteness."

"Hoy, Chestnut, ye've just ninja-kissed the king."

"I have, haven't I?"

"Where'd you get the pictures?" Taupeshank interrupted, eyes closed and massaging pis temples.

"Aye... don't know. They're passing around."

"Where?"

"I--I got this one from Roseeye, king!"

"Of all the biscuit-eating--!" Taupe stormed off deck to have words with pis lieutenant.

"Doesn't pe like ninjas?" someone asked behind pim.

It took no more than a few minutes to ascertain that Roseeye was not fit for duty. Pe was discovered sitting with Chalknose, Chalktail and Gingerbeard the cook, cooing over pictures of Alluring dressed like a pirate and mugging outrageously for the camera.

Taupeshank confined them all to quarters. Pis conscience didn't even allow pim the satisfaction of bawling them out. It was becoming clear that they didn't know they were doing wrong, which meant it was someone else's fault.

The king's whip stirred nervously around pis waist. As pe walked, Taupe put a reassuring hand on it. Pity there was nobody to do the same for pim.

Pe started shouting when pe neared the cell.

"How's it work, ninja? Your nasty little disease softens their brains, does it, so your psychic tricks'll work on them? Who gave ye that cushion?" pe added.

Alluring, who was reclining on a rather wonderful navy-blue silk pillow, said "You know you all look the same to me. Do you think it brings out my eyes?"

"Come over here and I'll bring out yer eyes all right!"

"Please don't be like that," Alluring said, sitting up. "I don't actually want to hurt any of you. I just..."

"Nin," Taupe growled, "I don't give a flying monkey what you want. You've turned half my crew into gibbering lunatics with that virus ye're carryin'. I be beginnin' to think it be time for a keelhaulin'."

"Taupe," said Alluring, gazing steadily at pim. "Let me out. Let me go."

"And don't be tryin' that psi control blather on me!" Taupe checked pis hand on its way to pis midriff. No. No, pe wouldn't lose pis temper. The damage was done. Even killing the ninja might not make anything better, and besides, the thought appalled Taupe's better nature.

Pe had no delusions whatsoever about Alluring being harmless and cute. Ne was a savage little monster. But ne was still a youngster, and still a prisoner under pis command.

Alluring was watching pim closely, ner expression unknowable. Taupe almost thought pe saw admiration there. Now that was unlikely.

"Don't try it on me," pe repeated, turning and leaving.

"Tau..." Alluring began. Pe ignored ner.

++++

Don't go... aww.

++++

Losing Roseeye in particular to the spreading madness had buffeted Taupe sideways. Rose, who had faced sky scuttlers and marauding Krakatons at pis side without flinching! A critical, fiercely individual pirate, whom Taupeshank regarded very highly, now turned into someone the real Rose would have despised... this was a deep-anchored fear shared by every pirate alive.

When pe retired to pis cabin, pe found the ship's octoped cowering under pis bunk. "You an' me alike, Tento," pe said, scratching the poor terrified thing between his eyes.

Tento spent the night sleeping inside the coiled whip.

The king's whistle woke Taupe in the early hours. "What?" pe asked the tube, already halfway into pis breeches.

"Alluring's sleeping, king. Come quick."

"What? What's the urgency?"

"Ne looks adorable!"

A furious king emerged from pis cabin, barrelled along the walkway and threw the crewpirate bodily into the second cargo hold.

Things didn't improve.

Beigeheel lasted a good part of the day before degenerating into ninja talk. Taupe locked pim up with the others. Pe segregated them into small groups and spaced them throughout the ship so there wouldn't be sufficient impetus for a mutiny, but honestly, they seemed happy enough talking rubbish at each other.

The latest craze was thinking up ridiculous captions for the scientists' photographs. This was apparently hilarious.

Pe'd already abolished the prisoner guard duties; now pe banned everyone outright from coming within twenty metres of the cells. Taupe patrolled the area pimself at irregular intervals, carting off anyone pe found in the vicinity. Pe ignored completely the ninja's attempts to get pis attention.

Thank god, they were almost home. Taupe was becoming more convinced pe'd have to pilot them in singlehanded.

As it turned out, pe didn't--quite. Two flight deck crew remained coherent: the pilot Burgundy, and Umberhank on communications. Taupe sighed as they dipped below the halosphere and the mongrel, makeshift roofs of Liberty Port came into view. Almost home.

Alluring, in irons, glowered and jingled intermittently from a corner of the deck. Taupe wasn't letting ner quit pis sight.

At pis direction, Umber brought them down in Libertalian waters some distance out of port. Pustule Jack, the plague flag, fluttered from the Errant Buoy's signal mast. They hove to and waited.

Presently a tug chugged out and stopped diffidently within shouting distance.

"Got the report?" Taupe asked Umberhank. Pe called a few words to the harbourmaster and threw over the vinyl document case that would tell the port authorities exactly what had befallen them.

Liberty raised them on the radio a few minutes later. "I have your singular report in my hand," Ruddygum said.

"Good to hear it, Liberty. What shall we do?"

"Well," Ruddygum replied, "first of all, you can tell me why I'm looking at pictures of your ninja dressed up."

"UMBER!" roared Taupe. The pilot and communicator collapsed on the deck in gales of laughter.

"Back in a moment, Liberty," Taupe seethed, seizing the pair by the scruffs.

"You were never affected for a moment, were you?" Alluring remarked when pe returned. The ninja had been meek and well-behaved all morning, apparently realising--and about time--ne hadn't ever stood a chance.

"Never mind, ninny. Can't win 'em all." Taupe patted ner shoulder in passing. "You did well for your maiden outing. Ahoy, Liberty? Sorry about that. We have the boffins and their belongings safe and a single ninja prisoner. The whole of the crew has a bad case of Contact Toxoplasmosis. I've had to confine every one of them."

"God. Hold on a moment, Errant Buoy." Ruddygum cut off for several minutes. Taupe looked back at the ninja. Ne had ner chin in ner manacled hands.

"Ahoy, Taupe? I've cleared Strait Nine. Come in, dock, pop your vents and do not, aye, not open your cabin doors. We'll dart anyone who comes out unwarned."

"Aye aye, Liberty." Taupeshank fired the engines and glanced at the ninja again. Alluring was clearly fascinated by the approaching buildings, patchwork inclinations of scrap and salvage and whatever could be dredged from any accessible seabed. Liberty Port did not look affluent.

Pe pulled into a centimetre-perfect dock. Steady as a rock--no ninja could scuttle old Taupe's style. Port attendants connected concertinaing ducts to their air intakes as Taupe released the covers remotely.

"We're ready with the sleep gas," Ruddygum said. "Taupeshank, I presume you're unaffected so we'll leave the flight deck clear. Close the doors and put your air on recirc."

Yes, that was appropriate, Taupe thought as pe closed the door and flicked the switch. Not for pim the ignominious knockout gas and waking up in the doctor's surgery having missed the excitement. Unfit for a hero who had mastered a ninja. Unfit for a king.

Pe hadn't thought about it like this before, but it all made sense now. Taupeshank would swagger into port, tame ninja following obediently at pis heels with a meek jingle, and all Libertalia would know here was a king to be reckoned with.

Pe looked at Alluring. The ninja was smiling. Ne was a nice young nin, really. Ne would be no trouble now it was established who was boss. Look at ner gazing at pim, so--cute and--triumphant.

The wave Taupeshank was riding broke abruptly against something sturdier. Pe reached forward and flicked the atmospherics switch again.

"Wai--" Alluring began.

"Nay, negative, Liberty," Taupe said clearly into the transceiver. "Knock me out, knock me out quickly. Ignore anything else I may say midtimes."

Pe turned away from the instrument banks to face Alluring's scream of rage and defeat. The ninja was still yanking at the chain and trying to kill pim right up until they both hit the deck.

END
© 2008 Herm Baskerville, all rights reserved