A Mind Full of Clouds

"What do you mean fired?"

The director's smile found new heights -- around what would have been the normal level of any normal person's mouth. It was unheard of. "Fired, dear. Fired, sacked and without a job. You may be familiar with the concept as well as its many synonyms."

Helmine's right eye twitched into a squint. Had the director not known better, she would have thought there was a hint of despair in the expression, but all in all she had a pretty good picture of what kind of woman she was dealing with. Helmine's past year's work in the Greater Marisch Third District Orphanage had been firm and rather military all in all. Military in that she had a Voice she used with great skill to motivate the children and had certain... requirements. (The director was very pleased with that particular definition, even though it had been Helmine offering it.) She was, in fact, a rather soulless woman.

"I see," Helmine replied and pinched the bridge of her nose. She was clearly counting to ten. The director wasn't too sure about this all of a sudden. The young lady opened her eyes. "All right, you old bat..."

"I beg--"

"Oh, please, beg. You have my pay somewhere: I'll have that. At the same time, I'm sure there are some in the Home Guard who might like an opportunity to make some extra money by withholding information, such as, mm, the little deal with Anneliese and her... ah... friends."

The director blushed furiously at the threat. It wasn't quite direct. But it plunged deep. "But..."

The pale, unaffected face Helmine wore seemingly nonstop turned slightly to the side. The director had seen her do this to the children before: looking bored and raising an eyebrow at the same, which, for some reason, always caused the children to give in and do what Helmine expected of them. "Furthermore," she continued. "There may be rumours about exactly what happened to Grimmhune Korbin's, mm... grant."

All right. Maybe she hadn't thought this thing through completely. Rita pursed her lips sullenly. "What do you..."

"No, 'how much'," Helmine said firmly, but gave a short sigh as she set her arms akimbo. "A bonus. The one I would have received a month from now as... you promised."

Ah. Yes. That was putting it rather clearly, Rita thought, lamenting the fact that she couldn't quite well try and slither out of this one so easily. "Fine," she finally said, mouth dry. After a few seconds under Helmine's withering stare, she began to write the note for the bank.

"Good," Helmine said and relaxed - if only a little. "Now for a question I shouldn't have to ask. Why?"

"Why wh--"

"Why fire me now? And me, in particular?"

Rita tried not to smile at that indignant tone. Nobody should have thought themselves to be irreplaceable. "Oh, isn't it obvious? We have too much staff. You're... relatively new here. Of course we get rid of you."

It didn't make much sense to Helmine, she could see that. In a way, she understood why the half-elf was so upset. She ended up doing many of the jobs nobody else wanted to. After all, she was the new girl. Always and forever. It was all right with her.

Scarcely ten minutes later Helmine had emptied her desk and locker and was marching down the rickety stairwell of the orphanage, frowning at any of the little rapscallions that dared to make too much noise or stare at her. Most of the children on the first floor had learned their lesson on her first week and thus, on the first floor, she could only nod approvingly just a moment before she pushed the front doors open and stepped into the gray Greater Marisch afternoon.

Here, on the inner courtyard formed by the front of the orphanage, a nunnery and a warehouse the children were specifically banned from entering (but snuck into anyway, looking for ghosts or treasure), the children were allowed to play and make as much noise as possible. Helmine stopped at the foot of the stone stairs and leaned against the worn iron railing. She didn't really mind watching children play. It wasn't a great thrill, either.

This time, right now, watching faces she had caused to laugh and cry go about a game of dodgeball, she wondered if things would be changing. If whoever they decided would eventually replace her was a bleeding heart wimp. She didn't try to convert the children into nationalists -- that happened by itself in this country. She did try to make brave boys and girls out of them, however.

What she was trying to do was to give them the means with which to protect themselves, and now the half-elf felt as though she had failed despite her small victory over Rita. Blackmailing a supposed bonus that had never been really promised to her was simple, just as simple as getting her due pay in the first place. What astonished Helmine -- what frightened her was that there were people living in this modern society who had no idea of how to go about doing so, to make sure that one got what rightfully belonged to one.

This was exactly the regret Helmine felt right now. She had started teaching this to the children. How many of them would understand this lesson early enough, with no two-timing, streetwise father or mother to guide them -- just some fat old biddy who had been told to teach these poor children how to be polite and mindful of others. Or then it was going to be some pretty young sister virtuous from this or that order, come to tell the children how it was nasty to think of oneself.

None of them would likely even hide coins in the warehouse and wouldn't strategically "forget" to board up some parts.

It was a thoroughly depressing line of thought, but looking at Helmine one would not have known exactly how frustrated she felt. After all, she always looked perpetually frustrated.

She sighed and started a course toward the gate leading to the streets, careful not to look at the ground as she walked. Helmine didn't do such things. She never looked away when someone looked her in the eyes, nor did she avoid looks because of some innate need to hide something.

Nonetheless, her stomach knotted itself when three children who had been playing with a skipping rope stopped her just by the gate, in front of that stupid little copper cherub she hated with a passion (and had defaced with nail). "Miss Helmine!"

Again, she sighed. "Yes, Lucas -- Minney, Jutt?"

They were unkempt as always, dressed in donated rags she knew could have been easily replaced if the "budget" were changed a little. "Um. We were just wondering if we could... have the slingshot back."

At first she wasn't sure what they were talking about, and was almost ready to say that as well. Then it occurred to her to look into the box she was carrying -- and sure enough, there was a slingshot, made of wood and a rubber band she had (correctly) identified as part of Mrs Amsel's dentures. (Helmine had admonished the children, asking them if they knew exactly what kind of things Mrs Amsel ate and drank.)

"Sure," she said, handing the slingshot over without as much as batting an eye. "Is that all?" the half-elf demanded and gave them her best 'I'm bored just looking at you' glance.

The girl -- Minney -- bit her lip. Jutt, the second boy, spoke instead. "Where are you going?"

"I was fired. Tell the other children that Rita has a candy stash in her class. You'll find it if you know where to look." Perhaps it was so unlike her... perhaps that was why they all looked at her as if she had just coughed up a frog. Helmine smirked and opened the gate. "Take care, kids. Don't be stupid."

"Uhm... bye."

"We'll miss you!"

"What did I just tell you? I'll ground you for good if I hear such nonsense again," Helmine said as she closed the gate behind her and walked away, not looking back.

The three were quiet for a moment. When she was gone, Minney said: "But you don't even work here anymore..."

"Blasted idiots."

"That's what I said."

"Oh? Hello, miss. Yes, it looks to be that way. Though, not to worry, I believe we shall be out of here quite soon. See if we do not."

"..."

"But so, my manners. I am Sebastian, the --"

"You?"

"We have met?"

"How many silver-haired Sebastians are there in the world?"

"Not too many I should hope."

"Yes, yes, I'm sure you should."

"I seem to be at a disadvantage?"

"Oh, gods. You were not such a dullard once. Here, does this help?"

"Ah... well. Yes, it does."

"Over fifty years, father."

"I hope you didn't wait, then, Mimi."

"Ah-ha. Yes. Well, stop while you're ahead of your game. Mother didn't wait, that's for sure. I did. I've had a wealth of experience with children as of late, so believe me when I tell you that it takes a lot to crush the hopes of a four-year-old.

"Oh, don't look so sad, I got over it. I'm waiting to get over the part where I want to punch you, though."

"Aren't you in a precious mood, Helmine."

"Hmph. At least you remembered my name. Mother's fine, before you ask. Found another man scarcely a week after you left."

"She always was sensible like so."

"Where you failed, she didn't."

"Oh, whatever."

"Hrmph."

"Hmh."

"There's one question you can answer for me."

"What?"

"Why did you have a price on your head?"

"When did you hear about that?"

"I wasn't and am not stupid."

"Well, no, you weren't."

"Mother kept one of the posters. It was a good sketch."

"I see... well, I stole a signet ring from a duke."

"That's all?"

"Oh, there was more to that. It didn't belong to the duke I stole it from. And --"

"How long is this explanation going to be?"

"You did ask."

"I asked for the truth, not some cock and bull story."

"Like it or not, that is the truth. Although my having tied the duke to the chicken coop may have had something to do with it as well."

"What?"

"Oh, come now. I'm the Fox. I have certain duties."

"You're the what?"

"You don't know?"

"Are you too stupid to understand what I'm trying to say AND too stupid to make sense?"

"You certainly didn't pick THAT attitude up from your mother."

"Nor from you, father."

"So it's your own construct. Excellent, Mimi. No. Shut up right this instance. I've dealt with children more difficult than you. Who knows, you might even like one of them."

"Oh great. I should have known I have siblings other than those two simpletons..."

"What?"

"What do you care? Now shut up and -- no! Tell me. Tell me everything. What the fuck is this 'Fox' business?"

"I'm seriously surprised. Your home region knows one of the stories. The Silver Fox, the reaper of the riches, nemesis of the noblemen?"

"Uh..."

"'The fox found nothing to steal from the poor man, so he broke into the rich man's chicken coop. Soon the rich man was poor, the fox satiated and the poor man found chickens in the forest?'"

"No, sorry."

"Something good out of that, then..."

"What?"

"Do you remember the story of merchant Ulsay?"

"Who-- oh, right. ... ... That was you."

"That was I."

"My father, the thief."

"Something like that, love."

"I'm really tempted to sink a knee between your legs."

"That's what most women say. ... Oh, look at you, confused."

"Oh great. And I thought mother was bad."

"Your mother doesn't have a way out of this cell."

"I thought they searched you?"

"Yes, well, they didn't search my mouth."

"You must have talked too much."

"Darling. How did you guess?"

"... sigh."

---

"So, father. Do you mind buying a drink for your daughter?"

"You are underlining it, dear. No, I do not mind."

"Thank you. So, tell me, how did _you_ end up beyond Wies?"

"I think the more pertinent question is, how did a famous scoundrel end up in Wies? By accident. I was quite prepared to call it home."

"You don't have to lie."

"I'm _not_ lying."

"I've no reason to believe you. I've more reasons to not believe you. Starting with how you left and never came back."

"Do you think I could have?"

"... Realistically, no. But I would have wanted to at least fucking see you once in a while. Do you have any idea how much a father means to a child?"

"Plenty."

"I don't think you do. I think you just don't care."

"And you certainly don't mince words."

"I have no reason to. I don't know you -- that's what I realised when I got over you. Whoever you are, you're not the man who I grew up with. You're pretentious, selfish and don't know when to quit."

"Maybe it's a bit like looking into a mirror, then, isn't it."

"...!"

"That's what you come across as, Mimi. You've not said a good word to me since we met, not aside from that one thank you just now. I remember a pretty little girl, and what do I see now? A woman that would be pretty if she just wasn't too caught up looking so angry and disappointed with everything."

"What do --"

"I'm not finished."

"..."

"I suggest caution when you move around these lands. Or any lands. I don't know what you're doing outside Wies, but you will find evidence of my infamy... and, judging by how similar we look, you may even have to fend off people who can't tell a woman from a man."

"It's that serious?"

"Dear --"

"Pushing it."